why adoption matters...(to me)

it's been sooooooo long since i posted a blog that it seems almost pointless to pick it back up. and given that i don't even know who or if anyone reads this blog, it seems funny to put something like this out there.

josh, caleb, and i just brought home our second son/brother: cole linden. there was no labor involved, we just had to wait a month and a half from the day he was born to actually hold him and count those fingers and toes. they're all there too! cole's place in our family is unique and extremely special because he is adopted. caleb is no less special - in fact i am seeing something come out in him lately that is so utterly wonderful and not OF me, his own sweet, playful, curious, and humorous spirit...but cole, well, he is the fulfillment of a dream for me. since i was very young i decided i wanted to adopt.  i don't exactly know when, but i do know i was wayyy too young to be a mom, but somehow i knew i wanted to adopt. i used to say i wanted one from every major nationality - asian, latino, african, european... i used to say i wanted my own model UN. so it came as a surprise to me when we were floored - i mean really put in our place - by the domestic program at gladney. when we first went up there and heard the panel of very young birth moms talk about their adoption plans, i was convicted. they were so brave. so courageous to do this life altering thing and then try to go back to their normal (mostly) teenage lives. we were hooked.

and almost 2 years later (or really, 20 some odd year later), cole has come into our lives...right where he was meant to be. again...floored. cole was born for me...for US. and i am so sure of that as i watch him balled up on his daddy's broad chest, more peaceful than i can ever remember being. i am sure because when i took him in my arms for the first time, he nestled right in and quieted.  he looked at us with his little old man eyes turned up and sighed. finally...he seemed to say...it's you guys.

there are many who have not totally understood our decision to adopt. quite a few people have said (with that side long look you get when someone else thinks they already have the answer...you know, we've all done it), "you want to adopt even though you can have your OWN children?" and sometimes i have gotten this response like, "wow, you're so noble." i tell you, it's not about that. not at all. i am not noble. it's just about this thing beating inside of me, a pulse i have always had to feel enormous love for children. and that too is not really because of something in me...it's because of something in THEM. the children i mean. they are so lovable. and they DESERVE to be loved. and that's why adoption matters to me. because this little guy, our little guy deserves to be loved and we can give it to him. at least we can give our very best version of human love to him, i am sure of that.

i must add how very awed i feel by our birth mom too. because really, her love for cole surpasses all. she had enough to say i know what you need and i know it's out there and i'm gonna do my best to find it for you. i think she gave colie olie enough love from the moment of his birth to get him safely and wholly to us 6 weeks later. {thank you}

as we get to know cole a little bit better each day, i am growing another heart. one for each of my boys!

coolidge says BOO

someone asked me recently if i was coolidge. i love the idea of me (a stay at home mom and artist) sneaking out late at night with my paint cans and a baby strapped onto my back. what a picture! although graffiti is certainly controversial, i stand by my love of coolidge's stencils. the printmaker in me loves the multi layered silkscreen look.  plus i appreciate the occasional revolving images and like having something besides drab concrete to look at. great cities of old had seamless relationships between art and life...something i wish houston had more of! another conversation for another time, but in the meantime, a HAPPY HALLOWEEN from me, a newly painted TURQUOISE (or maybe more tealish) fitzgerald's, and coolidge! lovely.

{maybe he'll paint me an elephant along the fence in my back yard}

i think he likes it!

recently i did a painting for my sister - a commission at that! it was fun to paint for someone so close to me and really try to channel her colors, her likes, her personality into the painting. if you haven't visited her blog, you ought to. her sense of design is flawless - almost perfect - very french and classic. mine, on the other hand, is colorful, eclectic, and definitely imperfect!

as i did the last little bits of the painting, caleb climbed up on it and explored some of the details. 

{a few closeups of details. linsey liked the little inset landscape as much or more than the big piece!}

wel-o-come!

wel-o-come! wel-o-come! we are happy to see you today!

this sweet chant greeted me when i visited orphans in the villages of malawi and today i sing it to welcome helen autrey campbell! my old friend maggie - she's not old, just our friendship is - though two weeks overdue finally got to meet her little girl. and i had the privilege of making her a piece of art.

{commissioned artwork for maggie campbell}

helen autrey

9.25.10

ONE...

is the name of a U2 song and the name of said lead singer's non-profit to eradicate global AIDS and poverty.
ONE singular sensation, every little step he takes.... you are singing by now i bet!
ONE two three four, tell me that you love me more.... another song i love by feist.
and finally, ONE is caleb's age.
sigh. every mama must say this: the time has flown. i blinked and now my little bug is trying to walk, saying mama, meowing, and weaned. he's even getting a sense of humor.
he is such a happy boy, so curious, so independent, so...just SO!

i love birthdays and i think everyone should be made to feel special on their very own day. ironically, i am also terrible at remembering birthdays outside of my very near circle. but when i do i love celebrating people. so i decided to create a few traditions....

a birthday banner. handmade with paper flags and hand-drawn letters from contrasting paper. as more kids come along, i'll make new names and use it til it shreds.

a birthday collage. since i can't seem to keep up with the baby book, a yearly collage with memorable moments written on the back. at 18, he'll get a keepsake box with little pieces of art.

one of my closest friends brought over a balloon. he was fascinated! 

but alas, so was the kitty, malcolm, and it mysteriously popped within 12 minutes.

my little guy.

i'm melting!

and the best part...soon one will become TWO!

coolidge, who ARE you?

i think i'm in love.
at least i'm in a mad dash to traipse around my little part of the city to find all of these lovely stenciled graffiti "paintings." it feels like love. or at least a crush. i smile involuntarily and my heart quickens when i see one of these marvelous images. twice in as many days i have slapped the dashboard and said...well screamed..."josh! stop! STOP!" and hopped out of the car to take a picture. in the pouring rain even.

yes, coolidge, that's how much i love you. or at least your street art. don't worry. i'm married. i won't stalk you. but i will keep pulling over like a crazy person and taking pictures of these mysterious animals!

this sea turtle swam toward me lazily right after i got home from puerto rico and had actually SEEN a sea turtle while snorkeling. well, the flipper of one anyway. the point is, he came for me.

someone (most likely a prius driving employee from the city of houston) hastily painted over the turtle (but failed to pick up the trash...hmmm). but alas, a month or so later, COOLIDGE strikes again. this time with another elephant. didn't go out of my way to find this one.  it found me. i'm telling you, it's a sign. i am supposed to get a baby elephant.

any guesses where these two popped up?

los elefantes

tembo = elephant in swahili. elfante = elephant in spanish. perhaps the more obvious translation...
i totally TOTALLY love elephants. as in i can stare misty eyed at them at the zoo for hours. until caleb falls asleep and josh urges me on to the black panther. as in they're the only reason i can think of at this stage in life to go to the circus and sit through sticky fingered cotton candy high kids and yapping circus dogs in tutus. as in i shiver just thinking about getting to touch one. and finally, as in my greatest ambition as a child was to be an elephant when i grew up. yep. right up til i was about 8 years old and figured out it might not be biologically possible. so today we took caleb to the houston zoo to visit baylor, the 300 pound 4 month old baby elephant that i would give anything to have in my back yard and walk around the neighborhood on a leash.

did you know elephants nurse for 2-4 years and live for 50-54?

baylor roughhousing with his big brother.

there is a graffiti artist in town i want to meet. more on him?her? later...but was little baylor following me home? found him right by the target by my house.

tell me these great land beasts don't warm your heart!!